Peaches, Ladybugs, China, and Totoro

Or, in other words, "Gardening with Julia this morning."

We weeded a bit of Grammie's garden today.  It's sort of a co-op thing where we try to help out in the garden during the summer so that we hopefully don't feel like the duck, the pig, and the cat in the book The Little Red Hen when autumn rolls around.  We apartment-dwellers are entirely too helpful when it comes to harvesting and eating Grammie's vegetables.  :)

As we weeded this morning...

I told Julia to go look at one of the trees and see if she could figure out what was growing on it.  The little fuzzy, green peachlings had her stumped.  When I finally told her, "Julia, someday soon those fuzzy little green things are going to grow up into yummy peaches for us to eat" she smiled and whispered to them, "Happy birthday, baby peaches!"

We found lots of ladybugs.  I think they like the Queen Anne's Lace-type weed that abounds.  Julia picked up each ladybug we found and let it crawl on her hand for a few minutes.  As I weeded, I knew without looking up whenever she found one because she would start giggling.

I was trying to teach her to pull weeds up by their roots so that they don't come back so easy.  When I pulled a big one, I showed her and said, "Look, this one's roots were trying to get to China!"  That caught on.  Every weed she pulled that she managed to get the roots up too, she told me, "This one was trying to get to China, Mom!"  Every single one.

In the back corner of Grammie's garden, Creeping Jenny plants have overtaken the grapevines and are all a beautiful, green tangle.  When we were weeding back there, Julia found a little opening into the tangle.  Her eyes lit up.  "Mom!  It looks like a Totoro tunnel!"  *gasp*  "Is Totoro real?"

I LOVE JULIA!

Clouds

Beautiful.

Embrace each day.

(Loved this tribute to Zach as well and the full twenty minute documentary here.)

Mi Amor

The other night my patience apparently went on holiday and left me alone with Julia.  Poor Julia.  :(

Justin came home and the first words out of my mouth were, "I am a terrible mother" followed by explanation and tears.

He listened.  He held.

Later that night, around midnight, I was asleep when Justin woke me up and told me to put my shoes on and come with him.

I did.  Immediately and without question, excited.

Of course.  (Speaks volumes about the man's track record, yes?)

We went outside.  It was a beautiful, rainy night.  The moon was visible among the clouds.  Justin had set up chairs for us in the middle of a dark field.

We sat in the chairs and held hands.  We breathed in the delicious air.

Justin expressed such faith and gratitude and love for our life and for me, especially as Julia's mother...I am in tears remembering.

He brought along the remaining half of a Bueno bar, which we split and "cheers"ed each other with.

He had speakers ready and played our song.

He asked if he could have this dance.

(Turns out that waltzing on wet grass in sneakers is no small feat. :) )

Justin, whatever had to happen pre-mortally to get you to agree to be mine forever, I am grateful a million gazillion times over that it did and that you are here with me and my forever love.

Remember this scene from Fools Rush In, sweetheart?  I love when Isabel's grandmother smiles and kisses Alex..."So you are Isabel's great love."  

You are my great love, Justin.

"Sometimes"

Beside a smashing headache, it's been an India Arie kind of day.  I adore this song.

Spotlighted

Today in primary (the children's portion of our church meetings) Julia was chosen as the "spotlight" meaning last week the primary secretary contacted Justin and I and asked us to come to primary for a few minutes and share with the children some of the gifts Heavenly Father has blessed Julia with and how those gifts will help her in her life.  We talked about Julia's gift of cheerfulness and how she helps her entire family have a good attitude.  We specifically mentioned her giggle.  I also shared a story from last week how she was helping me to clean up and being such a good sport about it (ha, not the typical scene when it comes to chores around here, hence why this one stood out in my mind ;) ).  She kept coming back to me, saying "What now, Mom?" and even saluted me with a "Yes, sir!" when I gave her something else to take care of.  She and I had talked about it afterward, talking about how she felt in her heart when she was so helpful and kind and loving in her family and how that's Heavenly Father telling her she's making a good choice.  Learning to recognize that spirit, Julia, is one of the most precious gifts we can be given and will bless your life so much.

After church...
Me: Julia, how did you feel when Sister Jackson had her flashlight on you at the end of the rhyme?
Julia: So happy!!!

:)

When your child is spotlighted, you also give a picture of your child to the primary leaders and they put it on the wall as part of a "I Am a Child of God" display.  Here's the picture I gave them:

*heart melt!*

And here's what Julia wore to church today:

*heart melt again!*  
(Prepare yourself--this post is full of 'em.  Please excuse this mother.  She really can't help it.)

Sister Jackson commented about how she sees Julia wearing yellow a lot and how it seems to be an appropriate color for her happy self.  I concur.  I hadn't really noticed how many yellow dresses Julia has worn though.  The thought prompted this picture perusal after church.  In no particular order, here's what I found:

 (ya, not a yellow dress in this one but the yellow curls and yellow forsythia make it work for our criteria)

 

  

Yep, Julia Joy, yellow is a perfect color choice for your sweet, sunshiny self.

A Sum-up of Mother's Day 2013

I haven't known what to do with myself when it comes to Mother's Day posting this year.  I usually do...post something, at least.  Motherhood's a major theme in the book of Becky.

Instead I've been reading posts this year.  Megan, thank you for the Mother's Day links you posted.  Seriously.  And for your own thoughts.  You are one of the most caring, nurturing souls I have ever known.

I had this quote posted on the sidebar of our previous blog, from the ever-brilliant Dorothy Lee:

"The one thing that a woman or any person has to give to the world and to the people with whom she is intimate is her individual person--her self in growth, in adventure, in search, in reaching out...Motherhood is not a thing in itself, is it I who am a mother and I have to be myself first."

CJ's post reminded me of that.

Loved Emily Watts.  Loved the Nevers.  Loved Amy's "Wide Spectrum of Mothering."  Excellent food for thought.  Loved it all.  (Love you, Megan)

Rather than intense or deep, Mother's Day was sweet and simple for me this year, for whatever reason.  I almost feel guilty about that, knowing quite well that it was a sad day for many whom I love.  But then it seemed a waste to be sad in the midst of a calm season for us so I tried to just be grateful and embrace, be thankful and be still.

Here are some things I loved about the day:


Julia singing with the primary children in church.

Julia.  Period.  (like the "Chocolate, save yourself!" moment...smile)


A woman in my ward confessed in her talk that she loved having her children grown and out of the house so that she could now stay home from church any time she wanted--she didn't have to worry about being the example anymore.  That was entertaining.  So was somebody's "Bad to the Bone" ringtone going off in the middle of the meeting.

Justin.  Period.

Justin working like a mad man all week long to get to a certain thesis milestone as a mother's day present.  He got there...at 11:45 p.m. the night before.  Happy Mother's Day to me!  One of your best presents ever, my love (and that's sayin' something!).

Playing Statues with Julia and my nieces and nephews at Mom's house.  The tradition lives on.

Watching my little brother's joy as he made his four-month-old son laugh uncontrollably.

Holding my one month old niece.  Pushing my two-year-old niece on the swing and hearing her call me "Betty."

Good eats.

Family and friends.

My mom--the legacy of intensely loving womanhood that she has given me through her example.

Finding out that I'm not pregnant this month.  At first it seemed ill timed to find that news out on Mother's Day but then, on second thought, having it happen on such a sweet day when I was perhaps more conscious than I usually am of the incredible blessings that are mine, I think, lessened the blow.  Usually on Mother's Day, infertility is hugely on my mind and has prompted me to think deeper about motherhood than I normally would have and to post passionately about the truth I find.  This year I wasn't there in my head so much.  I was more remembering the sweet, incredible feeling of being pregnant, of feeling like, despite nausea and 3:00 a.m. potty breaks from week 8 on, I was finally in that amazing current rather than looking at it, and feeling unspeakably grateful that I was granted that experience at least once.  Part of me recoils to share that, knowing that it might hurt friends experiencing infertility or other sorrows to read, but I hope not.  It's part of who I am and so I'm sharing, hoping that you can feel my joy with me, as I most assuredly try to feel your pain with you.

I think Mother's Day this year, for me, could be summed up in the following picture:

Justin gave me the gold locket years ago during Infertility: Round #1.  It is hugely symbolic (mentioned briefly in last year's post).  Julia made the macaroni necklace in her primary class and came tearing toward me after church, yelling "Mom!  See what I made you?!" followed quickly by, "Aaaah!  The card!" and then she dashed back to her classroom to retrieve the card she'd made and then forgotten.  Animated much?  :)

"iluvyoomomfrumjulya"

(and a picture of her and me with a heart between us)

I wore both necklaces all day.  So gratefully.  The card sits on my desk so I can see it while I'm working.  

I'm well aware that she is my miracle child and that Justin is, miraculously, the love of my life.

I'll never quit fighting the tendency to switch to autopilot or to get stuck in my emotional ruts.  I'm at peace now with knowing I'll continue to switch off or get stuck--it's all about switching back on and getting out of the ruts as soon as I imperfectly can.

It's a beautiful life, it's the greatest gift, and I intend to savor it as much as humanly possible.

"Save yourself!"

I was given a bar of chocolate at church today.  After we got home I was pulling it out of my bag when little hands suddenly shot out from behind me and snatched it.  "Hey!" I said and grabbed for her.  As my hands closed around her, she flung the chocolate down the hallway, yelling,

"Chocolate, save yourself!"

:D

An Exchange

After church today when I went to lay down and try to sneak in a nap, Julia came in...

Julia: Mom, if you fall asleep, you're gonna get it!
Me: But I'm sleepy.
Julia (a little more emphatically): If you close your eyes, you're gonna get it!
Me (yawning): What does that mean anyway?
Julia: I'll turn on every single light in the house!  Mwahahaha!

Suffice it to say that I did eventually close my eyes.  And she did turn on every light in the house.  And then threatened to tickle me with a feather she dipped in water, which I then flipped on her, which resulted in her getting even more water on me, and then me on her, etc. etc. etc.

No mercy.  ;)

What a princess was up to today

Once upon a Grammie Day, Grammie and Julia and several other ladies from our family went to a dress-up store resulting in Julia's new, most-favorite dress-up ("of all time" she tells me):

She wears it at every opportunity.  She even begs to wear it to bed though having all that fluff around your middle while you sleep can't be comfortable.  I require that she wear pants on underneath it when we go out.  She complied today to go ride her bike and glumly came out of her room.

Me: Julia, thanks for getting some pants on!
Julia (woefully): That means you can see them easy.  (whispering) I don't think they're very pretty, Mom.

It was one of those moments where I had to smother a smile.

Favorite moment of the day: Julia trying to get her bike helmet on by herself and, as she pressed the buckle together to try to get it to click, repeatedly whispering "Don't pinch! Don't pinch! Don't pinch!"

Another great time today was Julia's tea party.  I had to work so after fixing me a cup of chamomile, she rounded up some other friends for company.  Fancy Nancy, Hello Kitty, and Popple worked out quite nicely though the conversation was a little one-sided.

(Thank you for the glass, "grown up" fairy tea set, Aunt Alicia & Co!)   

A little later on I took a "Julia Break," as we call them, to play for a few minutes before hitting my desk again.  Julia requested that we play barbie restaurant.  A little dollhouse we got for nothing in Canada has a kitchen window that simply begs to be a drive-through window.  Observe:

Julia was the restaurant manager, Frostina the Swan, and the chef, Mrs. Potts.  I was customer Tiana.

Here's Julia's ingenious solution to the problem of her lack of barbie dishes for her restaurant.  I give you a bowl, made out of blocks:

Not too shabby, eh?

It was good times with my girl.  AND I got all my work orders in.  AND Justin got done a ton of thesis pages today.  Boo-yeah.  GRATEFUL!